The 100 Day Project

Life’s been a roller coaster lately and I have struggled with finding motivation and the drive to do anything. Last summer I was diagnosed with long-term depression, anxiety and PTSD.  I had always had my doubts but never really got diagnosed until now.  I guess I am glad to finally be getting the help I need although it is a long and painful journey and I have more than my fair share of those days when it’s all I can do to keep myself from falling apart.

The hardest part for me has been to come to the realization that my default state of constant misery is not the norm. That is not how all human beings go through life.  I honestly never knew that it is a possibility to not be in constant pain.  I assumed that everybody around me is just as miserable as I am, they just won’t talk about it and so I mustn’t either. Now that I have been let in on this well kept secret, I am desperately looking forward to the day when I will be able to just relax, without feeling panic, anxiety or pain.  When I will be able to plop myself down in front of the TV or curl up with a nice book and not have my heart race, my mind worry and my body fidget.  Until then, I will continue to fight.  Because I can be adamant like that sometimes.  I believe this is one of those rare scenarios where my adamance and obstinacy might actually work out in my favour.  Until then, I am going to try and be kind to myself.

To help me in this healing process, I decided that I needed to dedicate a little more time on things that make me truly happy.  Tangling is one of the obvious choices here and so, I have signed up for the 100 Day Project.  Starting 2nd April 2019, I will be doing 100DaysOfBookmarks, 100DaysOfHealth (what could be kinder than nourishing myself with healthy food and regular exercise) and 100DaysofPhotographingOrdinaryThings.